正經事

這幾天在大學的工作堆積如山，但大多是一些文書工作，即 paper pushing 。創作與研究的正經事，只能等到農曆年以後吧。

這陣子再讀 Michael Sandel 的《正義：一場思辨之旅》(Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do?) — Michael Sandel 在哈佛教授「正義」這一門課受歡迎到不得了，講堂常座無虛席，電視台也爭相轉播。講義集結成文集以後，更賣個滿堂紅。近期火紅得很的電視劇《天與地》中，三位主角人吃人的橋段就正是這本講義文集的引子，亦即是「唯效益主義」(Classic Utilitarianism) 學說中的經典案例研究。近來要處理的大學文書工作之中，多有糊塗荒謬情理不通之事，搞得我心不靜人不靈，就再這本書拿來讀讀、為自已打打氣。

在市場與資本主義社會的操作之中，效益至上似乎無可厚非；當然話說回來，商業機構並非存在於真空之中，它作為社會的一份子，資源既取之社會，故之然當照顧社會公義與道德。我理想中的高等學府是功利主義以外的淨土，是人的自由價值的最後邊疆 (last frontier)。現實跟想象，又是兩碼子的事。大學理所當然是做學問的地方，這根本是前設，犯不着以各種各樣的酬勞來「鼓勵」大家做本來就應當做的事，把對知識的追求功利化。藝術創作亦同。一些學生花盡心神來揣測我的愛惡，有好些更直接詢問。我常常提醒他們別想太多，專心做自已喜歡的創作就好；畢業以後，得觀言察色的日子可多着呢，你又何必急。

我在澳洲唸本科生的時候，在作曲理論班上有一位很漂亮的女生，長一頭烏黑的長髮。這女孩很喜歡讀馬克思，還搞了一個好像只有三個會員的馬克思學社。漂亮女生每天忙著參加各種各樣的遊行示威，書卻唸得一榻糊塗，功課都是我幫她寫的。為怕教授認出兩份作曲功課均出自我手，我故意把她的一份寫得比較支離破碎，教授反而常常給她的一份評 A+。我跟漂亮女生已經失去聯繫，但我相信她仍然是很優秀的、在幹着她喜歡的事，並盡一已之力，與效益主義的倫理抗衡。

繞圈子

我和你的家在同一條街上。

午夜過後沒事幹，我們會到渣華道上的茶餐廳吃夜宵。回家時，我們故意走最遠的路，繞圈子一直繞到碼頭才又回到電車路上。街上沒有人的話，你會讓我牽着你的手走一小段；你家裡跟你的朋友都不知道我們的事，所以在北角附近牽手還是要冒點風險的。回家後習慣給你再打一通電話，用肩膀夾住聽筒，聽你談一些不着邊際的話，有時候也會一起研究線上遊戲的新招數，但有更多的時候心裡抱怨你沒水準，對文化藝術與政治之事通通沒有興趣。有些晚上，等我家裡的人都睡著了，你會直接到我家中，偷雞摸狗的混進我的房間過夜，然後大清早四五點鐘爬起床，趁奶奶晨運的時候就離開。你在城大唸電腦工程，但你不喜歡唸書，一個星期中最少有三天跑了過來香港島這邊跟我一起上課，同學都以為你是上港大的。有時你不進講堂，就在孔慶熒樓的沙發上等我下課。下課後我們一起坐上二十三號巴士，挑上層最後一排坐下，然後你會將手放在我大腿上，我一邊看着窗外的風景一邊感受你手心的溫度。二十三號巴士也繞圈子，從香港大學到北角大概要一個多小時的車程，我們就直接在碼頭總站下車再一起走回頭路，到城市花園那邊才道別。我的朋友都很喜歡你，連平常對這種事情不置可否的哥兒們都說我們很配，叫我這一回要認真一點，我卻一直覺得我比較喜歡知性型的，雖然我承認像你這種會陪我一起打電動的其實並不好找。你有一班踢足球的朋友們，但我從來沒有見過，我明白他們大概也不知道我們的事，倒是我最好的朋友們你都混熟了，你說是要在我身邊廣佈線眼。有一次我到你家中打電動，看見你的書桌上放了一大堆古典音樂入門之類的書，我知道你是有努力過的。

每一次吵架以後，你總會在我家樓下等我出現然後道歉。吵的兇的話，你會帶上我喜歡吃的。分手以後，我曾經因為想念你，連續一個星期深夜跑到我們住的街上慢無目的地徘徊。遇見以後能相擁並大哭一場，一切就好，我當時是這樣以為的。從前，你都會騙我說還是獨身。幾年前，你興高彩烈的跟我說，認識了新的男朋友。既然連哄騙繞圈子的工夫也節省，遇見了也只會點點頭，閒談一種不著邊際的家常，然後上路。

大戲

西九管理局將於農曆新年期間，在海濱長廊之上搭建一個大竹棚上演粵劇。M+ 博物管的策展人 Tobias Berger覺得這件事可以更闊更好玩，找來不同媒介的藝術家在竹棚附近「搞搞震」。我和朱力行一同被邀請弄一個能在 iphone / ipad 上跑的聲音作品，我想大概是希望年輕人進場之後如果覺得大戲不合口胃，至少能下載這個作品消消時間吧。聲音跟音樂是我本行，但電腦編程這回事在下實在只有三腳貓的工夫。朱力行是正牌的軟件工程師，這搭配正好互補長短。在合作過程之中，發現大家對粵劇都一無所知；在我們印象中的粵劇，大概就是歡樂滿東華的本位節目而已，是總理們花大錢後自娛之事，「廁所位」是也。在電視機以外，我們並沒有關注過這個表演藝術形式。這可不成，於是某天晚上我們決定要到新光看戲去。臨行前，力行問怕不怕即場買不到票， 果然當晚在新光門外，高高掛着「全院滿座」的橫幅。 向賣票的小姐詢問，她說年輕人呀，票一個月前就賣光了。沒票在手，我和力行就站在那很有味道的舊式戲院大堂，觀察絡繹不絕進戲院的人潮，看得出神。心想：大好的星期天晚上，那裡來的大戲迷們。賣票的小姐見我們捨不得離開，就撥個電話給我們弄來了幾張記者席的票，進場後經理親自過來跟我們打了個招呼，說很少有像我們這種年紀的觀眾。第一次現場看粵劇，從場面到戲服到花臉到音樂，一切事情都非常新鮮。觀眾都很自在，一邊打牙骹一邊看戲，沒有一般表演藝術場地的嚴肅氛圍。一個甚具魅力的表演藝術形式， 好東西明明就在眼皮底下，現在才認識還不算遲。散場後經理問我們要了電話，說改天再有好戲上演會通知我們。數天後朋友來了通電話，說新光戲院要關門了。消息還未經証實， 但當天戲院外就出現了購票的人龍。我心想，下一回看戲大概要跑到元朗大劇院去了。

歌劇

如果沒有任何實作上的考量而時間又許可的話，我現在最希望投入創作的藝術形式必然是歌劇，即「鬼佬大戲」是也。創作一部屬於自已的歌劇，是每一位受接學院訓練的作曲家的終極夢想。歌劇的誕生得靠天時地利人和，而首要的條件就是合適的文本。 歌劇文本的文字最終要被轉化成音符，而傳統意大利歌劇的唱腔對唱詞及旋律都有一定的固有技術要求，所以歌劇文本創作者本身必須具備古典音樂的根底。如果文本創作者對作曲家的音樂已經有所認識，那就更為理想。種種原因註定作曲家與歌劇文本創作者鮮有一拍即合的例子，往往要經過長時間的互相了解與磨合才能創作出精彩的作品。當然，因了解而分開的例子也不少，德國作曲家亨德密特 (Paul Hindemith) 就曾經不留情面地大幅修改多部歌劇的文本，把劇中人物加加減減又來個性別轉換，後來更乾脆親自動筆，文字與音樂均不假外求。除了合適的文本以外，作曲家本身也必須已經做好創作歌劇的充份準備。 歌劇的創作涉及多種樂器的合奏與獨奏、詠唱與合唱的配搭，是對作曲家作曲技巧與及音樂造詣的終極測試。一套歌劇的長度一般不少於七十分鐘，音樂卻必須要一氣呵成，段落之間又不能割裂，這除了考驗作曲家駕馭大型音樂結構的功力以外，也要求創作者投入大量的時間於前期的音樂動機 (musical motif) 的規劃與設計之上，因此歌劇的創作並不能一蹴而就。要心無旁鶩，作曲家就得暫時把別的工作放着不管，這又牽扯到資金的問題。儘管如此，近年兩岸三地作曲家們還是創作了不少現代原創歌劇，其中較精采的包括郭文景的《狂人日記》，林品晶的《文姬 — 胡笳十八拍》，譚盾的《馬可波羅》，與盛宗亮的《銀河》等。這一堆新浪潮中國作曲家所創作的歌劇，均以中國傳統樂器搭配西方樂器作為革新歌劇的主要探索方向。我對這種西學為體中學為用的操作興趣不大，但在八十年代初期這的確是新鮮事。

佳節的氣氛 暴力的文字

電子合成的兒歌 七點檔的連續劇 大型商場的聖誕樹 區議員的宣傳橫幅 免費報紙的八掛頭條 拱上面書的自助餐食物照片 名店外的人龍 賺價髮精的香氣 結構類同的 K 歌 管弦樂版本的 Jingle Bells 零成本的巴士電視廣告 販賣青春的電台口號 陳腔濫調的政綱 假大空的策展陳述 酒店播放的輕音樂雜錦 豪宅大堂的水晶吊燈 有標準答案的通識試卷 明買明賣的大學教育 七十一的冷麵包 速食連鎖店的早餐 量產的芝麻油 沒下果皮的紅豆沙 佳節的氣氛 消費的意欲 富裕的想象 退敏的感知 暴力的文字 便宜的詩意

馬戲與概念奇觀

上個星期剛完成今年手頭上的所有作曲工作，終於有時候安靜下來想想二零一二年的作業。

這陣子我在構思一個以馬戲為主題的音樂劇場。小時候看過的馬戲，有大象老虎獅子隨歌起舞，熱鬧非常。動物們跟隨馴獸師的指示瘋狂地奔騰跳躍，這圖畫正切合人類自比為萬物之王的慾望，也滿足了我們於人以外的事與物上投射感情的原始需要。小孩子看世界的框架比較當然單純，那時候以為動物們就每天晚上耍耍寶，生活好像過得不錯；而真人表演的部分，包括空中飛人之類的「奇觀」我反而沒太大印象。從馬戲團回家路上，我會想象動物們空閒的時候，在一塊兒踢踢球睡個午覺什麼的。後來小叔帶我進電影院看迪斯尼的《小飛象》，看見Dumbo被馴獸師欺負心裡不好過，還跟小叔發了個牢騷說在馬戲團內那會有這種動物被虐待的事。事實是馬戲團訓練動物的方式相當殘忍，動物們都吃不飽。動物發瘋、「輕生」自殺這種事情常有聽聞。發達國家早已經取締動物馬戲，所以現在的馬戲團已經沒有動物，基本上是「人戲團」。

在維基百科上搜尋「表演藝術」，馬戲是與舞蹈、音樂、歌劇及戲劇並列的藝術形式。馬戲與傳統的音樂表演共通之處不少。我認為音樂表演與馬戲都是「以身體決勝負」的藝術形式 — 音樂表演終究是聆聽的經驗，舞台上能擺弄的東西有限，所以時間結構上的起伏並不能單以「概念奇觀」(conceptual spectacle) 或視角場面來建造，而是要通過音樂家的技巧，以「超越人身體極限」作為手段來達到。現代的馬戲，固之然是多媒體、高科技的藝術形式。但無論舞台效果多耀眼，空中飛人要是飛不起來的話別的都免談。空中飛人表演最令人屏住呼吸的瞬間，來自表演者放手一搏的膽量，與及演出有可能會失敗的想象，這兩者之間的反差。在這個iphone比魔術更像魔術的年代，概念奇觀似乎更具成本較益。對這種以身體建構的精致藝術，我們沒有耐心也沒有理解的興趣。我們只能讓身體客串。

（虛擬）屈原作為方法

我素來對「模擬」與「虛擬」之物均深感興趣。這並非好奇心驅使，更令我著迷的是虛擬之物所觸發的實在的審美經驗： 電玩中豐富多彩的像素世界、純淨的電腦合成聲音、詩意盎然的生成數碼文學（比如網上流行的詩歌隨機生成器）、如真臨其境的虛擬現實等。 近期最火紅的虛擬之物，可算是iphone 上的 SIRI 人工智能聊天軟件。有朋友與 SIRI 進行「深度哲學性」的「對談」，SIRI 小姐竟對答如流。朋友把對談內容拱上臉書， 當中有些談話內容於我看來其實饒富啟迪。或許說被人工智能所啟發， 聽起來有點荒誕。我們的文化習慣把真實之物的價值，凌駕於模擬或複製之物之上。但依我來看虛擬就是一種實體，它並無關於事物的真偽，虛擬甚或乎無需與現實建構任何附屬關係。虛擬亦無興趣充當真實的替代品： 迪士尼樂園就純粹是迪士尼樂園，而不是冒牌的美國（當然，它指向資本主義社會，但這是別話）。同樣， 合成的電子吉他聲音，抑或「假」的電腦合成小提琴，於我看來並無因由、起源、辯證 — 我聽到的是音色， 質感，以及契合的頻率。

繞了一個大圈以後讓我們回到屈原這題目上：於我而言，屈原正是一位存在於真實與虛擬之間的人物，an avatar。圍繞屈原這位人物我們建構了一個完整的文化系統，一系列的節慶範型。我們翊翊如生地述說他孤忠的一生，千古遺恨的故事，但我們甚至不能確定此忠魂曾否存在於世上。我們憑靠口耳相傳、文本記載，和詩詞裏豐富的幻想世界，以屈原「作為方法」，去推敲典型中國文人的面貌。我為 CCDC 的現代舞劇「城市封神」所譜的音樂以屈原的文學作品為本，黑漆深沉而紀律嚴密，時而飄浮恍神，時而咄咄逼人；「真實」的樂器聲音與電音取樣被處理後變得含糊，虛擬的合成結他有時「演奏」技術上真人演奏家根本無法彈奏的樂段。真實與虛擬皆文化建構，與值判斷無關；我們龍舟划得盡興就好，管它屈原是gay不是gay，而我們也只能如此。以「假」的合成結他做到結他手夢寐以求的功架，其實頗有超現實主義的況味；結他的「阿凡達」，也只能透過電子世界呈現。

冬天的北京

上星期因佈置展覽的緣故前往北京，只兩天的行程，來去匆匆，一整天都被關在美術館裏面。冬天的北京，空氣異常混濁。晚上佈展完畢從美術館走出來， 到處白霧迷漫。大街上各大小國外品牌的霓虹標誌，與戶外液晶電視中的商品影像，被白霧與煙混和成一團團的光環，儼然高階段資本主義的「視覺奇觀」 (visual spectacle) 被印象派大師去掉符號，又像極了蝙蝠俠漫畫中的罪惡之城 Gotham City， 搞不清楚這城市到底是浪漫還是腐朽。問當地人介意不？他們說：煙霧是燒煤的必然副產品嘛，解決取暖問題的折中作法，這影響國家形象但不礙事， 下一場雨就好。

展覽由香港人方敏兒與兩位國內的策展人共同策展，在北京今日美術館舉行，總共展出三十多件作品。舉辦方只用了一天半的時間就已經把八成以上的藝術品佈置到位；我嘖嘖讚奇，敏兒說這就是北京的速度。 香港人在外頭習慣了被應定為辦事效率比較高的一群，如今被祖國同胞和住在國內的「香港僑胞」徹底地趕過了，我一時間反應不過來。展覽展出了不少所謂的「架上藝術品」，即是在當代藝術市場上容易賣得好價錢的作品， 有點像時裝中的 ready-to-wear 。展場內有五六個民工在忙著，我等了大半天，終於有一位小師傅有空過來幫忙 。小師傅的確身手敏捷，只消沖一杯咖啡的時間就把電線連接妥當。我檢查後見電線只用膠帶草草固定，不很滿意，拆開來自己重新再弄一遍。臨回港前一個晚上策展人為我餞行。「香港人從外國回家啊，甚麼總愛說要『回香港』去，沒國家的觀念。我們都說『回國』。」我望著窗外的煙霧與光環，心想什麼時候要「回紐約」走走。

Manila

It wasn't just tragic, it was a textbook Baudrillard moment. When reality has out done cinema by a factor of ten, what could possibly shock us? What apocalyptic vision do we crave as a civilization? I find myself wondering: are news stories reflections and reportages, or our projection of what we really want the world to become? Here is war and terror, switch channel and we see near-apocalyptic visions of flood and landslide. If the images we see on screens big and small are indications of our collective psyche, we probably do want the world to end - spectacularly and with live telecast, so that we can savor our own demise.

An Important life lesson from Dan Savage

"Swallow a little bit as a gesture, but let the rest run out of your mouth...swallow what you can, and move on." - Episode 185

The Lesson of Ensemble Modern

Concert hall music is in crisis.

Not convinced? A reality check for you: the Philadelphia Orchestra, a concert hall mega institution that has a 110 years legacy, is currently on the blink of bankruptcy. And the Philadelphia Orchestra is certainly not alone – it joins a long list of prestigious concert hall institutions around the globe that are struggling to balance the book. The categorical collapse of the high-brow and the low-brow in music is no longer a mere prophecy, but a current state of affairs that is well documented. Music of the classical canon had long ago ceded economic primacy to music of the popular culture, now it seems to have lost even its priced cultural prestige. The obvious implication for a composer is that he or she must now be critically receptive to the entire spectrum of music-making, but that is hardly news to those of us who are equipped with even a marginally contemporary sensibility. More importantly, given the internal collapse of the boundaries that had previously segregated the different modes of musical production, it is logically incoherent that music's external boundary should still remain intact. Music's internal and external boundaries are the twin orphans of romantic desires, once authenticated by a transcendental enterprise that can no longer sustain itself, if one falls the other should naturally follow suit. In other words, what we are currently witnessing is not the twilight of the classical canon industry, but music's imminent fall from grace – its inevitable dethroning from its esteemed position of cultural and moral superiority over other arts. If music- making was to eventually rekindle romance with its pre-1800 mode of operation, whence there existed no rigid conceptual boundaries between the musical and extra-musical, then concert presenters will have to derive new strategies with which to decode the drastic moments of music- making, and to account for the open-ended-ness of a performance event unfolding in space and time. What should also naturally follow is an increased demand for musicians to diversify, to function as multi-disciplinary polymaths, as directors of performance events: composers better be reading Contemporary Art Review too in addition to Critical Inquiry, Perspectives of New Music, SPIN, and Electronic Musician.

Speaking of legacies, to say that Ensemble Modern carries a legacy would be a gross understatement. Founded in 1980, the list of the group's commissionees over the last two decades reads like a definitive who's who of contemporary music, including John Adams, Pierre Boulez, Helmut Lachenmann, György Ligeti, Steve Reich and Karlheinz Stockhausen, among others. Today, Ensemble Modern remains one of the most active champions of the music of our times, staging 100 concerts annually that feature over 70 new commissions by living composers. It's often too easy – even convenient – to dismiss contemporary music as elitist and commercially inviable; yet, on top of its cultural prestige Ensemble Modern also managed to prove against all odds that music by living composers is capable of attaining wide public recognition. The group's discography of contemporary repertoire, numbering over 50, is only a small testimony to its artistic accomplishments. With two Grammy nominations, several ECHO awards, thousands of new commissions and regular financial support from both the private and public sectors under its belt, Ensemble Modern as a musical institution is alive and kicking by any account – which is not something that you can say of its more conservative counterparts of the concert hall tradition.

Savvy cultural institutions evolve to embody the spirit of our times, to reflect humanistic concerns of the here and the now. A glance at the ensemble's website gives the impression that it is not afraid of breaking boundaries, staging anything from your traditional chamber music concert to visually- stunning multimedia spectacles. Disciplinary boundaries is not the only borders that Ensemble Modern actively seeks to transcend either. The group transplanted five composers into the Pearl River Delta, with the aim of producing new commissions that grasp the essence and characteristic of the region. This gesture was a part of a larger INTO cultural project that connects composers with some of the fastest emerging mega-cities of the world. The Hong Kong edition of INTO will feature compositions by five celebrated composers – Heiner Goebbels (Germany), Benedict Mason (UK), Unsuk Chin (Korea), Johannes Schöllhorn (Germany) and David Fennessy (UK) – each will converse with the sonic and cultural landscape of his/her city of choice, melting driver's radio talk, architectures and street theaters into intensely poetic, geographically-specific musical after- thoughts. Grammy Award winner Heiner Goebbels’ electronic composition Out of promises to translate the mechanics and architecture of Hong Kong into music. Benedict Mason, doubtlessly one of the most unique figures on the music scene today, approaches the region in a humoristic way by employing moving images, producing a multi-layered intellectual commentary in his N.N.. Unsuk Chin, winner of the prestigious Grawemeyer Award and Arnold Schönberg Prize, takes a special angle in Gougalön by using percussions to construct reminiscences of an old market place. Johannes Schöllhorn, twice awarded the Premio V. Bucchi, toys with orchestral colors and sharp-cut accords in No-Man’s Land while David Fennessy discovers the individual in sites of mass production in 13 Factories.

Ensemble Modern's astounding success is at a stark contrast with the dire state of concert hall music to-date. One should of course realize that the group's open-mindedness, exceptional musicianship and appetite for new frontiers are all inter-dependent ingredients for its continuing relevance, particularly to a new generation of concert-goers. We mustn't allow our orchestras and ensembles to become mere musical museums that perpetually recycle cultural relics. For reasons of artistic development as well as economical survival, music must reflect the here and the now. Our city's music institutions have quite a lesson to learn here; as for Ensemble Modern's Pearl River Delta leg – this is a contemporary music mega-event that you simply cannot afford to miss.

#1 dislikes

Being told what to do.

Knowing, Learning, Remembering

Throughout my 20s I kept being told that I am too naïve sometimes stupid. We just took it; of course whether or not we agreed was beside the point. All of that changed when I hit 30 this year. Beyond a certain point if you continue to hit your head against a wall you are either playing sheepish or intellectually-challenged. On the receiving end, I started to wonder about the differences and interactions between perceiving, remembering, learning and knowing.

I was born in 1979. It was a year of tracks: that year the Guangzhou-Hong Kong train resumed, and the MTR began service. At the time the resumed China-Hong Kong service was fondly talked about. Some 30 years later the abrasive manner by which the funding request for the Guangzhou-Hong Kong express railway squeezed through the legislative council was met with highly vocal protests by the so-called post-80s. I had just missed the post-80s train by a year, but I do sympathize with them when conservative media dismissed them as naïve. They were entirely under-estimated: of course they knew that the bill would pass in the end, but was it not beautiful that they tried?

That gets us back to the definition of “knowing.” I think Art and Philosophy are similar in that they both share an insistence that is independent of the truth. Somewhat paradoxically both aspire to the truth – whatever that might be. This aspiration is not usually followed by a confirmation. In fact, a pre-condition for this aspiration is a suspension of judgement. I think of it as an “educated failure” (think: “educated guess”).

I was the subject of a RTHK documentary when I was in grade 6. I watched it again for the Third Pixel, and I was thoroughly surprised by how perceptive I was at so tender an age. There was a moment in which I was talking about school, and it is obvious to me now that at grade 6 I already knew that school was a just system that I needed to play, but my heart was elsewhere. What more did I learn between now and then? What more do I know now?

We habitually put perception in front of knowledge, but I think that is exactly the wrong way around. Knowing is an act of low-level awareness which is dependent upon the senses, whereas to perceive is to put forward a framework through which to understand the world – it is a state of mind.

純淨的陳百強

這個年代的陳百強眼神像清水。這種迷惘的純淨是絕對地 confrontational 的。它並不具破壞力，卻會讓我們自省。

立此存照

中國谷歌因拒絕當局審查內容而計劃撒離中國。今立此存照並施禮。

滿清自恃地大物博不齒與洋人通商，平白錯過了全球工業革命，積弱百年。如今中國於網上建屏興障，以為外國勢力必然哈腰歸順，終致谷歌雅虎等接連撤出。此舉，實與當年封國之事無異。



上圖見一名網民於谷歌北京總部外放置花束，以示對其風骨之支持。今中國雖仍有晚清心態的政權，幸已無晚清心態的人民。

賣痾肥時

賣痾肥時全豹、大公開！

好明顯我有直角強迫症。我發誓，我影相前無執過張枱。

用來教 Creative Electronics 既玩具一堆。

神級跨年派對

3D的歡樂今宵四只大字
拉乎的樂隊不夠照嗎 還有VJ
八十年代的主題讓我的少年樂團制服重見天日
艾斯妮拿下了最佳台風獎
大會還真的發金唱片一枚為記
整晚只喝烏龍冰茶
也是一個神級的跨年派對

咬指書空

你說理想主義
是當代感知以外的正經事
讀了多少遍陶渊明龐德
才寫出一些很接近現實主義的詩
我只聽巴哈跟 Steve Reich
大型購物中心也放 Steve Reich

六年班的我

噢，我的青春小鳥！

智慧

I hear the complaint “I didn’t get it” too often. It’s music, you don’t always have to get it. It’s not like piloting a jet or performing brain surgery: if you experiment, nobody will die in a terrible accident.

- Annie Gosfield

沒有童謠的年代

模擬論證
營造一種氛圍
從影像中我們能得到多少啟蒙

是正理平治還是偏險悖亂
經過揉搓的功夫
終究也扁成一塊一塊
一塊一塊 摺金銀縱橫滿地 投向火堆
我凝神注視光的所在
眼目便如敗窗殘桷 盡化為灰
餘燼和著淚飲

那時我好像聽見你說
這電影德國得很
然後，你並沒有其它

It's lonely being an artist

Over the weekend I saw two retrospective performances - Kung Chi Shing and the Box's 20th anniversary concert, and Mui Cheuk Yin's retrospective solo. Kung is world class, way ahead of his time. He still is - but Hong Kong stayed exactly where it was. Mui was the city's first (and best) Orientalist. The 50 years-old Mui staged a graceful performance to a half empty theatre. I was reduced to tears on both nights.

I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was crying too. I am glad that I had found somebody who also understands how lonely it is to be an artist.

秋冬入手必要

咱消失了一個星期

Transcendence

1. Over coffee a colleague asked me if I still believed in transcendence. I instinctively replied yes. And I actually do, very much so. It didn't even occur to me that it is unusual for anybody to still believe in transcendence these days - and I guess it is. Anyway, I mumbled something that didn't make sense as a defense. I started wondering why I said so with such conviction.

2. I played Gavin Bryar's "Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet" in my sound as discourse class. That old man's cracked voice kept looping in my head all fucking weekend, it was pretty counter-productive, I couldn't get any composing done. Very frustrating because I am on a deadline. All I could think of was that beautiful field recording, punctuated by that gorgeous gorgeous cadence. I could just blank out, and think about that field recording all day long.

3. A whole bunch of kids wanted to do something with Hong Kong identity for their graduation thesis. How wonderful, I thought. Of course whatever they end up with will be sweeping, grossly generalizing, theoretically unsound. Though how brave of them to want to try, I thought. Their failures will be gorgeous.

4. Whatever conclusion post-structuralism is only able to infinitely defer may actually be touched by naive souls, maybe it is time to believe in transcendence again - not because we want to head backward, but because we are beyond the end and transcendence is/was our last frontier. Inducing in them a respect for theoretical rigor is necessary, but not so difficult. In a world that seeks to actively wipe out any trace of representational metaphysics, what is desperately needed from artists perhaps is not a repercussion of deference but intensity of communicative nuance. But how do you teach *THAT* ?

5. I am very happy here.

靈性的修煉

朋友提醒我要 be humble。在網上搜尋一下，發覺竟然有教授謙遜這回事的 wikiHow 文章。這年頭連靈性的修煉也被 demystified 了吧。

How to be humble

我看見佛光：港人清水寺玩「碌樓梯」

港人在日本清水寺玩碌樓梯，並拍下手機短片上傳 youtube。片中主角最後躺在地上，並指著雲說「我看見佛光」。數日後，日本傳媒廣泛以負面的基調報道事件，更有日本網民因此批評中國人質素低、香港人在回歸後質素下降等等。

喂兄弟，玩下姐，沒有必要把無聊的嬉鬧提升至民族素質的層面吧？引用麥當娜名句：if it's against the law, arrest me；你大可以認為這是 bad taste，但這只屬於非原則性的、個人脾胃的問題。日本人硬要上綱上線大造幾天的文章也罷，在陳同學家裡玩得太瘋被陳師奶罵你也只有乖乖嚥下的份。奇怪的是香港人也加入聲討的行列，在高登討論區上「影衰中國人」、「令香港人面目無光」之聲不絕。日本傳媒以雞毛蒜皮之事妖魔化中國，是一種透過無聊現象論斷民族本質的低級籌略。不過都係嗰句：邊個叫你喺同學仔屋企玩得咁癲。但我們對外國人這種神經過敏並沒有半點抵抗之意，還差點要屈膝邀賞，這才真正叫香港人面目無光吧。

伸延閱讀：日本傳媒報道
伸延閱讀：港人清水寺玩「碌樓梯」

很窮但是純度很高

Farewell 這事情 這幾年間辦得很多很多
原因是 我經常紐約香港兩邊走 一年大概來回七八次吧
而每次由香港回紐約之前 朋友們都會以此為召集的借口
組織飲食唱K之類

星期天晚上 紐約這邊的朋友也給我 fare 了一個大大的 well
其實
我會很經常回來走走 房子也留着 所以 farewell 實在沒有必要
但見大家如此投入 當下我也有點兒捨不得
說到底 以後至少不能一通電話
十五分鐘內召齊早餐腳 所有沒事幹的 Brooklyn 哥兒們
去 Cafe Luluc 吃一頓十元八塊的

那天由五點吃喝至深夜
道別的一刻 Betsey 的眼淚在眼眶裡滾
要是 CC 在的話她也會哭吧
其實我並沒有捨不得這個城市
但是 離開這裡以後
我再不是窮得很風流的 Brooklyn-er

將法定勃起年齡定於二十一歲

是日星島標題：「o靚模」大抱枕 教壞青少年。

這少年到底是犯了甚麼十惡不赦的大罪？馬賽克？發乜X神經！記者還要特地找來心理學家，批評「o靚模」大抱枕易令青少年產生性好奇和性幻想，恐會做出違法行為云云。喂，第一，呢個少年十三歲正是血氣方剛，你給他香蕉一條他也可能有性幻想。這是自然不過的事，又有何討論價值，你又憑甚麼幫人教仔？第二，就算你硬要把抱枕說成社會問題，你大可找來兩性學家批評抱枕把女性物化，或找社會學家談談當今青年人性幻想對象典型等等。性幻想又不是病，你找來衛生專業是哪一邊臀部想出來的點子？把性好奇和性幻想先定調為健康衛生問題，就連討論都可以省掉，直接找專家消滅病源，清洗十三歲少年的心靈。傳媒與保守陣營故伎重施，把性慾當成社會危機及道德恐慌 (social crisis & moral panic)；要人人健康成長，星島何不建議政府將法定勃起年齡定於二十一歲？

伸延閱讀：書展就是香港

Technology becomes art when precision is optional

I had a really interesting conversation with Betsey tonight after Zeena Parkins' show at the issue project room - which was awesome by the way - but that's not what I wanted to write about.

Back to the interesting conversation: over late night green tea, we talked about Olafur Eliasson's recent MOMA show. Eliasson is one of my favorite artists, and I was really upset at myself for missing his NY show. Betsey said that she thought a couple of pieces at the show were good, especially the mist piece, but she was not so into the bigger pieces that looked like big money's been spent on it, such as the reverse waterfall. She thought that they were alienating, they worked *too* well. Worked too well? She thought that audience ceases to be critically engaged and instead seek to be entertained when the wow factor of the execution becomes all that there is. It's pretty obviously that perfect execution in and of itself is boring - but could it also change mode of reception? In the gallery space, yes this makes a lot of sense - but in the concert hall, precise execution is the vessel through which a performer transcends his/her body, to become "a magical aura." So I guess the edge is where the interest is - the impossibility of human precision, and the humanism of a machine that doesn't work like it's supposed to. At the show tonight, I sat next to new media artist Ranjit Bhatnagar, whose whole thing is to make robots that play musical instruments badly. He was telling me about this robot he made that plays the theremin with very jerky motion. I found that totally fascinating. His robots are very anti-concert hall: the concert world is *obsessed* with accuracy. Take Cage's silent piano piece, or Nam June Paik's smashing viola piece, or one of Yoko Ono's crazy toilet-paper mummy pieces - it doesn't matter how subversive a composition is of the concert hall's conventions, it must first and foremost be realized with poise and grace. It can be subversive, but it must not cease to be performative. Now, I am stating these "conventions" as a call-to-arms to react against them - *not* as a confirmation of their central position in the history of time-based art.

In the concert world we even rehearse failures to perfection - it's called refinement. How can experimental music break free from that framework?

And then I remember Michael Faulkner once said that technology becomes art only when it is obsolete. I think the more accurate way to put it is that technology becomes art when precision is optional. On my way home I was wondering how the same dynamic plays out in the concert or theatre space. What is the time-line equivalent of a visual spectacle? How do theatrical spectacles passivize the audience?

四點半的紐約天空

我說，想捕捉晨光初露的紐約天空。早上四點半拍，成不成？ 天台上拍成不成？ Katya 都說沒問題，我們就約定星期五早上拍宣傳照。之前的一個晚上，天公不造美啦嘩啦的下起大雨來。我們以為這陣雨早上絕對還要下，就決定改期。怎料翌日早上醒來外面卻大放晴。

仲夏清晨的紐約天空美得不像話，是香檳的顏色。我半夢半醒中拿起手提電腦，在床上用 webcam 對準窗戶就隨便拍了幾張：





宣傳照昨天終於拍過了，很喜歡。明天再 Po 上來。

盡了力

覺得自已盡了力這種感覺真好。

漫 / 布希亞

過度真實的模擬
比真實更真實的模擬
模擬並不反對現實
現實以封閉的符號系統結構
從一個片段到另一個片段
久久

泛音持續擴大
擴大為一種擬像手段
鏡象中的夜
漫漫

用長鏡攝下
捕獲接近神的溫度
溫熱一波一波

高中

三十歲倒數
十五天




我高中是念澳洲悉尼的 Trinty Grammar School
這所學校跨張的很
首先說 從幼稚院小學部至高中都一應俱全
還有一所在悉尼郊外 叫 Pine Bluff 的野外學習中心
第九班的同學 硬性規定要離家入住 Pine Bluff 半年
聽說 進去頭一個月每晚都會哭得很凄涼
還好我是第十班才插進去的 沒領教過
再說 學校有齊所有你想得到的 體育及文化設施
還有你想不到的 例如
教堂
畫廊
校服及
精品商店
是從學校前門步行到後門會氣短的那種

課外 sports 是硬性規定要修的
下課後我都在練琴畫畫 運動沒太在意
所以就挑了一項 完全不費勁的草地滾球來修
草地滾球 是所謂的 slacker sport
就是 沒運動細胞的人才會挑的
修 slacker sport 會給人瞧不起
所以 我都是秘密地修
上學時把草地滾球服和帽子藏得好好的
第十二班那一年
不知何故老師給我當了草地滾球隊隊長
還要在早會的時候向全校宣布
什麼時候回去走走

三十歲

親愛的三十歲 你快來了
你來 要幹嘛呢
要給我房子
錢 還是 更多的靈感 還是什麼
喝杯水 坐坐 就請你過主吧
錢我沒在 care 靈感也不缺啊

有些太青春的事情
快要破三的我真的做不出來
從前
間中在 K 房點棒棒堂 瘋一下 自娛娛人的事
是不可能會臉紅的
現在連點個盧廣仲都覺得很勉強

三十而立
四十才能不惑
是這樣吧

Blogging

I gave a lecture at Shantou University a while ago at the school's faculty of art and design. The talk was a mess (I gave it in Mandarin - something I never do - and the slides didn't work) but I was still very glad that I went - the kids were very, very smart (note to self: I shouldn't really be calling them *kids* - some of them were barely younger than me). They asked difficult but interesting questions. I wish I'd hung out with some of them after, but I was really spent after an hour of Mandarin speaking so I took off pretty much straight after.

Anyway - so I am only writing about this now because I was googling myself at Paragraphs, and I found more than a few blog posts by students of the university about the talk I gave. I love stalking myself online. I google my name every-freaking-day. Admit it, you do it often too, nothing to be ashamed of.

Finding reviews / reports on you is one thing, finding blogposts about yourself is another matter entirely. Did it ever cross their mind that I might one day end up at their blog? Who is eavesdropping on my thoughts? The idea of a "potential" audience seems to be totally in suspension in the act of personal blogging (vs professional bloggers). WWW is an "audience" so diverse and vast that it cannot possibly be comprehended. Does this incomprehensible vastness then collapse onto itself so that we pretend to be speaking to an audience of one?

Blogging is like whispering, in a room, alone, to yourself into a microphone - but one that is randomly wired up to speakers allover town.

Now that I've blogged about a post about me, I wonder when the blogger will end up back at this page.

近來的夢

Why am I so easily insulted in my dreams?

紐約生存學

誰要
自我感覺良好

來，把臉皮再練厚十寸

Dreams

昨夜怪夢兩則

Dream # 1

I was given a turtle to keep
I took it around with me in a white plastic bag
on my way to tea
I tripped and dropped the turtle a couple of times
"it must have hurt" I thought to myself
I dropped the turtle one last time before entering
an elevator
I must have broken its shell, as it soon started splitting right down the middle
shell and meat and all
I felt the most intense guilt
and was very upset with myself
the poor turtle moved violently
its head got out of the bag, and onto the floor
blood was spraying out of its neck like a shower
me and the kid in the elevator, we were both
covered in blood (I was wearing white jeans and a yellow t-shirt)
"people will think that we killed somebody" I thought to myself
I stepped on the turtle's head
and that was the end.

Dream # 2

A bunch of us went and had tea at Execlsor Hotel
we ate and chatted
they soon started to prep the space for a dinner buffet

so right next to our table was
a plate full of soft-shell crab
I took one
no one noticed
so I took another one
a waiter and a waitress saw and started talking about us in Japanese
something about the soft-shell crabs, and greed, and the Chinese?
Tommy understood what they said and so we apologized

the waitress had a serious attitude problem, we thought
she looked at us with despise

We saw Ron and company on our way out
they'd been moved to a table at the corner because of the buffet
and were quite upset
so we asked for the manager
somebody who looked like a senior waiter came
we told him we wanted to see the manager
and so the manager finally came
we told him we were all very upset
and that we will be running articles about the place as
many of us were
reporters
so beware

and he apologized.

陳慶耀

前陣子二少
讓台灣攝影藝術家陳慶耀 拍了一張搞怪的合照
可愛的洛可可造型
汗顏
照片今天開始於紐約的 Location One 展出

Monuments

跟 CC，馬小姐與老外 Charles
去了 Dia:beacon 博物館
兩小時的車程 一個半小時走完 差點給掉了小命

Dia:beacon 主打後現代主義及極簡主義
Fred Sandblock / Richard Serra / Donald Judd 等等等
還有偶像 Dan Flavin
一整邊都是 Dan Flavin
愛死 Dan Flavin

極簡主義之後
我們再不相信叔本華
連 Monuments 也被 trivialise 之後
叔本華式的 用藝術家手心的溫度與天比高
以創造為手段 挑戰神的一種大氣魄
就變成只能被博物館化的
傳說中的
藝術家的病

後極簡主義 軟着陸之後
解除人類存在的 痛苦 的唯一可能途徑
連同我們對 Monuments 的信仰 一拼被封印
這就是 Baudrillard 所謂的 歷史的終點吧
也就是 日光底下再無新事

巴哈的純粹
跟 Steve Reich / Dan Flavin / Donald Judd 的純粹
要是一樣的話
那是我們中間走了三百年的繞道
還是我們那裡都未去過
什麼都不是

帽

皇后萬歲 上星期拍了一整天宣傳照
謝謝 基斯道化那邊借來的帽子很美很美
謝謝 詩韻跟海珊杖義幫忙
這一張大側面 宣傳應該用不了 所以就上傳這邊公諸同好

留頭髮 update

最新情況：

第三個紐約

潘國靈的新作《第三個紐約》剛面世，幫忙推一推。以下是我給他寫的推介詞：

「潘國靈以過客的身分蹓躂紐約，偶拾他鄉藝文麥穗。從奢華的第五大道、到東村的波希米亞、以至紛雜多元的哈林──潘國靈除了讓我們看見了一個文化首都的應有內涵外，也不忘側察我城的種種不足。潘國靈的「文字蹓逛」是理性的城市學思辯，也盈滿一種恨鐵不成鋼的感性慨嘆。」

前天收到潘少寄來的 copy。封面很美。

是想太多了

CC，所以說，我也會啊。

皇后終於重見天日了：關於皇后碼頭的室內歌劇，耽擱了一年多後終於重新上馬，鐵定十月演出四場。劇場的點子還未有一個大概，唯一已決定了的就是最後一個唱段會叫作 "星降"。也應該會有一堆聲動 / 互動的 LED 星星，像這種：



剛剛在網絡上訂了一塊 Arduino board 兼容的貨樣來玩玩，好鬼貴。應該可以接 MIDI 然後把它弄成聲動的。試過可行的話就 DIY 吧？但係咁多粒 LED，要一天一地星星的話真係焊接都要焊三年。

還要謝謝麥姐姐提供的皇后碼頭保衛戰的錄像，我會好好利用的。

留頭髮

超快的！才一個星期，前面的 bang 已經長出來了。
我要留夠頭髮來玩單邊 undercut，努力努力。

The Real Deal

在高中的時期我曾經一度迷戀何嘉莉。今天的她已作他人婦，聽說還當起形象指導來，為英皇的小師妹們操刀。我印象中的何嘉莉清秀到不能，有一種超脫於物外的巨星獨特氣質。那個年代的英皇娛樂不得人心，各小報經常針對其下藝人口誅筆伐，也常挑何小姐的「黑口黑面」，對她算是 hostile 的。

何嘉莉飲歌《兩種人》的 MV 中有謝霆鋒；當年的他連毛都沒長齊已經明亮得很，跟何嘉莉一樣都是巨星的料子。



謝霆鋒就是一個被小報寫死的藝人的經典例子。香港人對自已城市的 talent 也有夠不愛惜的；要不就是表面上儘管支持，但心底總要盤運幾分懷疑：他依仗家裡有個錢吧？他很會搏出位？總的來說，就是「他很紅，所以他一定作偽 (he is popular, therefore he is a fake)」。在香港中國人的集體思維中，我們相信成功靠的是手段，而成就是手段的彰顯，與才能扯不上邊。誰要題謝霆鋒舞跳的很不錯，作曲也頗有水準這些事情？你別要搬出「藝人與傳媒互相利用」這老調，在這個沒明星的香港，小報也快支持不住了，這是那門子的互相利用。

沒救

率先由原人與朱凱迪揭發的城大評議會阻撓《六四特刊》派發事件，前陣子鬧得頗大。事發後數天，評議會突然來一招瞬間轉軚就範，輿論又告安靜下來。

網絡上的評論文章不少，不贅；而左派跟右派的角力互有勝負，其實也沒什麼的。但我看到報導的時候，真的幾乎哭了出來：我們的城市幹嘛了？知識份子吵的架，竟也找不到半點邏緝推理的脈絡，簡直狗屁不通。

Madeleine 說

今天晚上中文大學合唱團首演了 When He Said
是詩人 Madeleine Slavik 的文字
我人在美國 所以不知道演得怎麼樣兒
回家打開電腦 見 Madeleine 留字：

----
hi all of you
I LOVED IT
thank you
I WANNA HEAR IT AGAIN
isolating the last part of the poem - the crux of the poem - with the soloist, slowly, syllable by moment-syllable, was so effective
please extend me gratitude to law yuk ling
i had the chance to thank leon chu and louis siu
may i ask for an mp3 file of the performed piece?
and a video clip?
i would be very grateful
thank you again
i feel very honored
and genuinely satisfied-pleased-warm
----

幹嘛連道謝也 像寫詩一樣奇怪的分行
忽然想起忍者小靈精主題曲的歌詞：



「談話似詩那樣禮貌又神氣
小孩子最友善與你做朋友
忍者喜歡你」

新弄的頭髮

新弄的頭髮，兩邊短短的很清爽。

用丹田

我每天都在寫
我是最勤勞的

大清早起來
半杯 Latte 一組伏地挺身 動呀動
手在琴鍵上動
快進入音符一直一直瀉出來的狀態吧，快
要快，樂團與光陰都不等人 大家都不等人 我也不等人

下午七時正 響起 Satie 的 Gymnopedie
每一次只來一小節
讓我慢慢咽下
從喉頭到丹田 再往裡面跑 囈囈絮語如谷古一樣溫熱
暖和了胃 「你在跟誰狗扯？」
好像有誰說過 不能再嗑咖啡

是那一招？

反正放空白放空。

Doubt

自以為義的人，
所謂的守身如玉，並以此自詡的人，
都是人文素養提高的最大絆腳石。
恭喜 Doubt 正式榮登 my favorite movie of all time 的寶座。

記去年始相逢

巨筆蘸濃墨
錯生素妝梨花枝

更著檀爐人獨坐
筆
吃掉

花光光

把今天在中大講 talk 的車馬費恨恨地花光：





Danner 仍在我的 wish list 之列。但索價五千也太狠了吧？

學

學筆順
熟記永字八法
脈絡要隱曲而暢通
學會就填充
掂來兒歌口訣數則
「三隻青蛙三張嘴」
見窗外綿延
數數由一到千
風雨來就只好勤練指法
他朝青樓自管弦

中午茶

白雙全兄搞藝術是副業，組織社交活動才是正經事吧。

這一票在紐約認識的他鄉故知有趣得很，都是愛吃、愛穿、愛香港的傻子。我們都說，在紐約當藝術家很好，都不願意回來。才一年的光景，卻又全部回來了。

"This is where we can make the biggest difference" - Teresa 是這樣想的吧？

但我們吃茶只談風月，所以非常期待我們的富貴中午飯。

Levi's Fenom Saddle Stitch

這種充滿美麗細節的單品討厭死了。它會讓你雖然明明在家裡已經有一堆同類的，還是乖乖的掏出錢包買下，然後把之前的最愛並每天都在穿的狠心放冷宮一旁。

咖啡色皮標、白色紐扣、銀色拉鍊，還有 Fenom 的標誌置左邊口袋的上方。